yourself "+"

BEING HUMAN MEANS A SIMPLE LIFE WITH GOOD FAITH AND ACTION

yourself   "+"

 you’re arguing with yourself, but bear

with me. If you’re already talking to yourself,

there are at least two of you in your head.

Introducing an extra won’t hurt, and may bring

you to a pleasant majority!

For example, I used to beat myself up a lot.

The first time I tried this, I had just had an

ugly conversation with a person who has a long

history of being very compelling to me but not

very nice. He said some well-targeted things to

push my buttons. I ended the conversation

promptly and signed off, but I was still upset,

and I caught myself thinking “What an asshole

he is! I can’t believe I’ve wasted all this time

loving him! I’m so stupid! How humiliating!”

Normally, I would just go on and on this way,

but for the first time, I stopped and listened to

what I had said.

“Wait a minute,” I thought, “that doesn’t even

make sense. How does his being a jerk make

me stupid? At worst, I was naïve and

unrealistically hopeful—is that really so

horrible? I acted with love and the best of

intentions, and I did nothing wrong. The fact

is, I’m going through a pretty hard time and

doing the best I can, and I don’t need or

deserve this kind of harsh judgment.”

Hearing these things, even though it was just

myself saying them in my head, really helped.

It was like a cloud lifted. What the other

person said still hurt, but I no longer felt

devastated, humiliated, or miserable; more like“gee, that’s too bad.”