True giving flows from love

BEING HUMAN MEANS A SIMPLE LIFE WITH GOOD FAITH AND ACTION

True giving flows from love

. It feels good and

brings joy to you as well as the recipient.

They’re intermingled. When you do something

you feel obligated to do or resent doing, that

isn’t love. The true motivation there is fear or

guilt—or both.34 Think of examples from your

own life, and I’ll bet you’ll see it’s true. The

things you do for others that you resent or

don’t like doing, you probably do for one of

these reasons: You’re afraid the other person will be angry

or won’t like you if you don’t

 You’re afraid God will be angry if you don’t

You’re afraid something bad will happen if

you don’t

 You’re afraid people will think you’re a bad

person if you don’t

 You think you’ll be a bad person if you don’t

 The person you’re doing something for has

done a lot for you in the past, so you’d feel

guilty if you didn’t do this for them

None of those has anything to do with love—

they’re all fear and guilt. Fear and guilt are not

love, and they can’t co-exist with it.

Gifts given out of fear or guilt aren’t gifts at all,

not just because love isn’t involved, but also

because the recipients can tell. No matter how

hard you try to put on a smiling face, people

can sense your tension or resentment. You’re

not fooling anyone. Your negative energy taints

the whole transaction. The flow of love that

should occur when someone gives doesn’t

happen, because the transaction isn’t based on

love in the first place, and everybody feels

negativity as a result.

If you talk to the other person involved, you

may be surprised to find that they didn’t even

want what you were doing in the first place.

This came as quite a shock to me: many of the

things I hated most weren’t even things the

other people wanted or cared about. No

wonder they never acted grateful! What an

incredible waste of energy!